The title says it all, folks. “Meant to be with him…” “Meant to be drawing again…” “Meant to be…. me.” I’ve been doing this Inktober lately for the first time, in hopes that it’ll bring my muse back up and start making some art again; and I can honestly say… I think it’s working. Forcing myself to sketch a measly little drawing a day is forcing the creativity out of my brain and back onto the paper. Not to mention, getting into the Halloween spirit with Jack and Sally as well. And maybe, just maybe…. by the start of next year, 2018, I’ll have gained enough confidence to bring my art book outside the house and into the public and get to selling some of it. Something I’ve kept telling myself I’d do for a couple years now. Part of the Aspie in me I suppose. Lack of confidence and not giving myself enough credit for what I deserve, even though I already have a huge support group of family and friends that love what I do. I’m slowly coming out of my shell each year though, and my boyfriend the Neurotypical extrovert has a lot to do with that might I add. I cannot believe nor explain how different and more open I have become since going out with him. Three years and counting! ❤
That’s right! I’m gonna be that one person to write a gushy, cheesy blog about how much I love my boyfriend. LOL No, but really, I was scrolling through Facebook today and saw one of my friends posted this hashtag with her boyfriend and thought, “Eh, why not? I’m not good with telling him face to face how much he means to me and how much I love him. Why not tell him through Facebook like a REAL Aspie would!
But really… it’s been 3 years since our first date and I’m finally comfortable enough to tell him straight up that I love him. Not just the usual “Kay, love you, good night” typical stuff. I’m learning to give him eye contact, hold hands more often (both in public and private), the only thing I really need to work on is the hugs! Nope. Can’t get me to hug. Cuddle? Yes. Full on embrace while standing awkwardly with my arms around his back (or neck?)? Nope. I don’t know, there’s just something uncomfortable about the feeling of hugging. I’ll do it if someone hugs me first. You know, to be polite… or silly if I’m with my friends. And cuddling I’m totally okay with! I mean, it probably helps that I’ve had practice cuddling with my blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals… but still! I think it has to do with when your hugging someone, it’s more of a social interaction than cuddling. Whereas cuddling is basically just like a hangout kind of position on the couch or where ever. It is social interactions that I’m more awkward about. Do I hug? Do I shake their hand? What do I say? What is small talk? Oh god, I’m staring into space again, aren’t I? They must think I’m so weird! Run away! Abort! Abort!
Anyway…… yes, I’m one of those girls who thinks they have the best boyfriend in the world. And I’m not saying that just because he spoils me to no end. That’s just a bonus. I’m saying he’s the best boyfriend ever because of the reason he spoils me. And how he acts and treats me like a princess. He understands me, and is willing to learn more about me just as I’m still learning new little things about myself and my Asperger’s. He doesn’t care that he’s a Neurotypical dating an Aspergian. He treats me just as if I’m any other person, and he works hard to please me just like if I were any other Neurotypical girl. He knows that when I’m in one of my moods to either leave me be or just sit there in silence with me. He’ll ask me if I’m hungry or just automatically bring me a sugary snack to munch on with him. We play games together, we go on dates, we take turns paying the tab (or split it), we go on adventures and road trips. Just like any other couple would. And he’s even said that he’s proud and so lucky to have me as his girlfriend. Hell, even the sex is amazing! LOL
I still can’t believe it’s been three whole years since our first official date. He’s still my first boyfriend, first date, first love. Yes, I said it. I’m in love. And even if he hasn’t said those EXACT words, I’m pretty sure he’s in love with me too. We’ve talked about the future together, where we want to get married. Living arrangements, future pets, getting engaged, marriage, future kids…. Yeah…. I think we’re pretty much certain that we are each other’s other half; as cheesy as that sounds.
Okay, this post is going to be completely about me fangirling over how AMAZING the new show, “The Good Doctor” is. They’ve only aired one episode, but already I cannot wait until episode two! Not only is Freddie Highmore doing the character justice, but the whole episode had me in tears every five minutes! There were so many similarities and recognizable situations in it I couldn’t help but cry! I’d name some, but I don’t wanna go spoiling it for those who haven’t watched it yet.
This isn’t meant to be a super long post, I just needed to get my feelings off my chest. Also because if it were to be longer, I’d be spoiling A LOT of just the pilot episode. I’ll probably be talking about this show more as it goes on and more people get on board with it, so the spoilers won’t be so bad. I just gotta say…. THANK YOU ABC FOR GIVING PEOPLE WITH AUTISM/ASPERGERS/SAVANT SYNDROME THE RECOGNITION THEY DESERVE. Hopefully the show will explain and show other neurotypicals how we go through life and that we really are just as, if not more, sympathetic and clever as you think we are. We’re actually very much so more sensitive and smarter than you make us believe. We just show our emotions differently and learn in a different, sometimes slower way. Give us a chance, and we won’t let you down. We’re just as loyal and hardworking as any of you. (If not more) ❤
I’m slowly coming out of my funk, and letting ideas flow out onto paper. Any other suggestions or recommendations as to what I should draw next would be great, too. ❤ I need the inspiration.
(Also, check out some of my other drawings on my facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/tjartwork to see what else I’m capable of)
As I have put before, I tend to start things, forget about them for a few months (or in this case, years), and come back to it being all like, “Oh, I should start back up again! Then I stare at my work for hours not knowing how to continue. Writers block, you could call it. Or artist’s block as I’m used to having lately. I’m kind of in one of those funks right now. I’ve managed to get two drawings done this month in favor to the Halloween season: Oogie Boogie and Zero from Nightmare Before Christmas. I’ll post them up for you guys to see after this little blog.
So yeah, blogs. I’m in that stage where I’m gonna try to get this back up again, and hopefully have some followers on here who want to learn more about what living like an Aspie is all about. Learn about some quirks I have, as well as strengths, even my love life! Never thought I’d be able to put something like that down…. Three years now with my first ever boyfriend. And I couldn’t be more in love. That’s right, I said it. I’m in love. He understands me and cares about me, sometimes a bit over protective of me, but he loves me for me. Asperger’s and all. And he’s still learning new stuff about me each day! Just recently he’s witnessed one of my meltdowns I get whenever something Neurotypicals would find minor or not even worth freaking out over. Yes, he could have worked it out in a better way, but that’s okay. It was his first time actually witnessing a full blown meltdown. Even if we were to be together for over ten years I’m sure there would be stuff he didn’t know anything about. Hell, there’s stuff I’m still finding out about that I haven’t noticed before.
Anyway, back to the main topic. What was it? Oh yeah, continuing what I started. That quirk. So there’s this blog I’m gonna try keeping up with…. and then getting out of my artist’s block and get back into doing what I’ve always loved: drawing. I’ve even found what’s been helping with that is simply going down to Disneyland (Annual Passholder here), wander around for a few, people watch, and eventually find a spacious spot for me to spread out and just… sketch. Listening to the music, watching the tourists, and just enjoying the magic. I’ve been telling myself now that I have my license finally (26 years old!), that I should start going down to Disneyland or California Adventure Park to do just that. I’ve done that a few times with my boyfriend already, and he fully supports the idea. He loves watching me draw and seeing what new things I can make. He’s just one of my biggest supporters in my life.
So that’s it for now, I think. I’ll put up some drawings as I get inspired and hopefully a new blog within the next couple days or at least next week. Looking forward to continuing this blog and hopefully getting more followers! ❤
Work’s got me like, “I NEED A VACATION.” Even if I just came back from vacation. That’s pretty much what it’s like for Aspies. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, and my coworkers, and my bosses… but even with a place I love so much, it can get really frustrating and overwhelming. Especially in such a small store. I work in a small dog grooming business, and have been since I was seventeen. It’s still my first job, and I’m still learning to this day. Part of the reason why I love my job, is because more than half the time I spend working with the dogs rather than people. And for Aspies such as myself, it’s what is preferred. It’s like therapeutic in a way; washing the dogs, drying them, brushing them, making them feel so much better… Well, it all seems like all fun and no work, but it’s more work than you would think. Everything we do, is for the dog’s comfort. If something goes wrong, all hell breaks loose. I know, it’s only because we put the dogs first, but once the yelling starts, even if its not directed at me… I start to shut down. I get quiet, hunch my shoulders and hide behind a dog I’m working on until the yelling fades. Even then though, there’s still the tension in the room. Sometimes when things get too overheated, I get on the verge of tears, especially when I’m either mentioned in the conversation, or am being scolded at directly. They know me and how I can be, so they try their best to keep a cool tone, but sometimes you just can’t help it. Even I can’t help but throw that fierce tone out there when feeling so frustrated. It’s understandable, and I understand. That’ll never stop me from stopping from what I’m doing to have a complete shut down with my vision tunneled in on the dog in front of me. There’s a reason why us Aspies respond better to animals rather than people. First of all, they don’t talk back. (Well, they can, but not in a way we understand) Second, and this is mostly towards dogs, they’re loyal and loving to us no matter what. They sense something is wrong, they can sense our feelings, whether it’s sad, happy, frustrated, or even angry… and they react to that. I learned that while working at this job. It’s quite amazing what these animals are capable of. And it makes me so sad that I don’t have one of my own yet. (Although I do love my guinea pigs <3)
The title says it all. No matter how old you get, whether you’re six or sixty, no one is too old for a little bit of disney magic. The reason I’m writing about this is because I went to Disneyland today with my best friend, Genevieve (the one who’s also an Aspie). Disney has always been a place where I can truly be myself and not feel judged for it. I’m not sure how much I’m gonna write in this post, but I’ll do my best to say all that’s on my mind.
I disneybound. Or, at least I recently started to a few months ago. I started with Lilo, seeing as my favorite disney character of all time is Stitch. I watch the movie Lilo and Stitch and I see so many similarities with both them and myself. Different, weird, alone in a way. And we all realize that as different or odd as others find us, we see that we also have others that care and love us for who we are. That we don’t have to change for others to accept or even like us. The other disneybound I did, which I literally just got yesterday and wore today was Minnie Mouse. Other than the fact that it’s an easy outfit to put together, Minnie is one that’s been with me for a long time. I remember seeing videos of me in this adorable Minnie Mouse dress. Apparently I was obsessed with her, I had stuffed animals and everything with Minnie on it. Minnie is my childhood, and is one character that will never leave me. So it felt good to disneybound her. I felt like a kid again in that red skirt and yellow shoes. And of course those adorable Minnie Mouse ear barrettes. It’s good to feel like a kid again. And that’s another thing amazing about a place like Disneyland. That it’s a place where everyone can forget about all the other stressful or frustrating things going on in their life and just focus on what’s there in front of them. Whether I’m in the park alone or with company, a huge weight is lifted off, even momentarily, and I feel rested again.
I’ve heard before that others have been told that they are too old for disney-related anything. And they’re only in their twenties or so. That’s ridiculous. I personally have never been told that, but even if I was, I wouldn’t listen to them. I would shrug them off, and continue with my love of disney elsewhere. If disney is what makes you happy, or safe, or even sane… then I say do what makes you happy! Disneybound, watch disney movies, go to the disney parks, collect disney merchandise! Do what makes you happy, and be yourself. That’s what Disneyland is there for anyway. They don’t call it the happiest place on earth for nothing you know. There’s a place for everyone in this world, and disney welcomes everyone… young, old, neurotypical, disabled in any way… there’s always room for disney in your heart if you just let it in.
Since this is an Asperger’s Syndrome, or Aspie blog, I figured I’d get this going by talking about what kind of Aspie I am. Because as the title very well states, “every piece is unique”, it’s quite true. No Aspie is alike in one way or another. We may have similar interests, but if you look closely, not one of us is the same. It’s like if you look at me and my best friend, who is also a fellow Aspie. We’re similar in many ways yes, but if you take a look at our personalities, we are much different. We’re both creative, yes, as most Aspies are. But in different ways. She prefers using her creativity in acting, fight choreography, and occasionally drawing. Whereas I use my creativity in drawing, writing, and making stories that never get finished.
The thing about Aspies is that… we’re unpredictable half the time. We start on one subject, then as soon as we get bored, lose interest, or just have nothing more to say, we switch subjects almost instantly. That, or we just walk away. We don’t mean to be rude, really, we just don’t have that kind of understanding to leave the conversation otherwise. You’d be lucky if you get us to converse at all. Unless it’s about a subject we’re very keen on, we, or at least I, absolutely hate small talk. I’m sure this accounts for most Aspies, if not all, but it certainly applies to myself. I spend half my life locked up in my room with my computer contacting people via text or Facebook because it’s easier to type out what you have to say rather than physically say it. Most Aspies from what I’ve heard prefer keeping to their selves in their own caves with no one else around them except maybe a pet or stuffed animal or something. And while I completely agree with that, I also have to disagree. I love the outdoors, and I love to explore and climb trees and be active. Sometimes by myself, but most of the time, I prefer having a buddy with me to enjoy the fresh air with.
I’m not too fond of huge crowds, and neither are most Aspies. As I told you before, we’d much rather keep to ourselves and be loners, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want a friend or two to hang around with every once in a while. I have two of the best friends. One of them, the Aspie like me, we’ve been friends since fourth grade. While the other, we’ve been going strong since my sophomore year (her freshman year) of high school. And when the three of us get together, it’s like nothing else matters. Whether we’re together at a theme park, or seeing a movie, or even just chilling at home playing video games, we’re happy being together to share memories, stories, private jokes, and any gossip we may have to share. Not every Aspie is lucky to have what I have, and I find myself extremely lucky to have such friends for this length of time.
That’s about it for now I think. I’m sure I’ll have more ideas or things to share tomorrow. Or whenever I get back to writing…. Farewell and good night/morning/afternoon!